At some point of time, we all have escaped from one or the other situations. Escapism is a way of refocusing ones attention on things pleasant or enjoyable, as opposed to hard realities and/or the perceived unpleasant or banal aspects of life. It can be a healthy means for not getting completely depressed by reality; may actually make us more effective participants in the world, as it allows to take mental breaks that reduce our stress.

Escapism for some is a tool for regrouping after a turbulent or traumatic life event. It can be aimed at protecting oneself, removing the uncertainty and taking us into a more familiar (safer) place. It allows us to forget and temporarily push problems out of mind.

In the context of being taken to an extreme, the word escapism carries a negative connotation; suggesting an inability or unwillingness to connect meaningfully with the world. In our attempt to escape, we can find a dozen tasks of no consequence to fill our time like the internet, online games, sleeping excessively, smoking, watching television, overeating, day dreaming and shopping. Some drown themselves in work. Some physically run away from their homes. Some may even migrate to a new place where they can start afresh. People may choose to escape from the reality of a relationship, job, home-life circumstance, health of a loved one, or even death of someone close. No matter what one is trying to avoid, it ultimately boils down to ones own fears, deepest sorrows, past and disappointments.

While on the surface, escapism seems to be a way to deal with the pain head on, it provides only a temporary relief. In reality the wound has never been properly addressed nor healed. It just stays dormant, throbbing silently until the day where it resurfaces in a different manner. Instead of believing one is powerful, the escapist can feel like a victim.

Why we escape?

We find a particular task unpleasant, and thus try to avoid it. We are disorganized, don't plan how long a task will take and unable to identify when we need to start in order to avoid being late.

We feel overwhelmed by the task: Doubt having the skills or resources needed to do the task and so seeks comfort in doing tasks one is capable of completing.

Fear success/failure: You may think that success will lead to you being swamped with more requests, or pushed to take on things that you feel are beyond you or you put off.

Tips to get rid of escapism

Accept reality: Yes, something bad happened. Don't spend your day imagining how beautiful life could be if it wasn't for that stupid incident or mistake. It is frustrating, no doubt, but running away from reality will not lower the frustration, on the contrary, will make it stronger and stronger.

Take bold and  decisive action: Do something because fear of failure can immobilize. To overcome the fear, you must act.  Ask, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" What could you achieve? Be brave and just do it. If it doesn't work out the way you want, then do something else. But do something.

Talk about it with a friend: Find somebody you trust and talk about it. If you let it grow inside, it will explode. Most of the time, when you reach this point, its too late to make a meaningful change that will restore reality. But if you talk a good deal of the time as a way of escaping, then may be its time to do actual problem solving than talk.

Write a worst case scenario: What is the worst thing that may happen if you face the situation? List every little detail of a worst case scenario from physical loss to emotional imbalances. Then read it. Does it look as bad as you thought?

Attack with the why weapon: Start to find the root cause of your frustration by asking why questions. Why am I broke?  Because I spent too much. Why did I spent too much  Because I am feeling insecure. Why? You got the idea. At some point, something will click inside.

Just take the first step: When you start to look too far into the future; any task can seem close to impossible and overwhelming. And so you shut down and start surfing the internet aimlessly. Just taking the first step at a time helps relieve the burden. Example - Not going to sleep until I have put 15 minutes into doing something I've avoided. As Martin Luther King, Jr. Said, You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Become more mindful of day-to-day activities and do not let them build up. It helps to nip escapism in the bud. (e.g., if television is the vice, consider stopping cable for a period of time).

Seek help of clinical psychologist/ mental health professional for learning various techniques to combat the negative effects of escapism in daily life.


(The author is a consultant in holistic medicine/psychology)